Get Over It…

“You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringing everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little a**, get over it.”

The words to this charming little ditty by the Eagles has always stuck me as a call for others to get on with life and get over whining about it.  Who knew  this song was actually written for me and not anyone else.  It’s me that needs to get over it and move on.  Wow, I really dislike having to deal with my present reality.  It sure is easier to point fingers about everyone else.

My issue is the fact that I’m divorced.  That’s right, a follower of the faith that has failed miserably at his first attempt at a peaceful forever.  I’m officially permanently scarred by this transaction by the church and looked at as an infidel.  Look at all the passages in scripture that detail all the reasons why believers shouldn’t divorce, how could I be party to such a gristly experiment.  But the fact is…It did happen.  In such I’ve allowed the church the ability to use this item to make me feel like a second class citizen inside the hallowed walls of grace.  I bought into the pack of bulls**t brought forth by these mavens of true understanding.

The time for me to get over it is now!  Of all people, my wife recently told me this battle is no longer worth fighting.  The war is over.  She gently reminded me we’ve been married now for 10 years and at some point it starts to count.  This was too simple of a response to such an emotional issue.  Maybe that is all I need to do.  Just get over it and move on.

This is my basic tutorial on sin.  Sin sucks.  Sin separates us from a loving God, Sin keeps us from experiencing true joy in life, Sin unchecked will soon totally rule ones life.  But…sin is completely forgivable, one need not be known for the rest of their lives by the sin that once enslaved them.  Grace frees us, redresses us in clothes of righteousness, and tells us to go live our lives in confidence knowing we are again one with God.  We don’t have to forever be what we once were.

This is the reason why I continually seek the face of God.  I desire each day to more and more  redeem my present shortcomings and find sustanance in the welcoming and forgiving arms of my loving God. 

Divorce, like any other sin is a shortcoming that works against us fulfilling our greatest desire, to be one with our creator.  But divorce is no greater than any other sin and needs no special sacrifice for forgiveness.  Divorce, I must remind you is not the unpardonable sin. 

From this day forward I choose to move forward.  I will choose to celebrate the wonderful marriage I have the joy of participating in each and every day.  My marriage does count and count well it does.  My wife is correct (a fact that seems to have become a pattern) to remind me it matters nothing what others think or say about this issue.  As long as we keep focused on our union, nothing else really has any great value.

To my divorced friends…rejoice you are in fact free.  No longer do you need to accept second class status in the church.  We are all one in Christ.  Your sins are forgiven therefore we have all the benefits of grace bestowed to other believers.  Grace plays no favorites.  It only seeks out those who genuinely desire it (and need it).

Too often it is we ourselves who enslave us.

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2 Comments

  1. mom said,

    October 22, 2008 at 6:07 pm

    Good for you kiddo. I have several things which are “enslaving” me. You don’t know it but you are helping me from afar. I love you and thank you.

  2. Dad said,

    October 23, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    after a foul, even basketball frequently gives you more than one shot.


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