Never Trust a Smile…

I’m very sad today.  Extremely sad.

This day I learned about the suicide of an old college friend.  Death makes others weary.  Especially death caused with one’s own hands.  This news stirs parts of me I prefer left dormant.

I think of my old friend…what a charming, handsome, gifted individual he was.  People saw in him grace manifested and kindness extended.  He had few enemies, if any; I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t like him.

Surrounded by friends and admirers, the often subject of the passing crowd.  He seemed to have it all.

The pain must have been immeasurable to endure.  The loss of hope, the place where vibrant dreams go to die a slow death.  My friend lived with great sadness.

His death keeps me mindful of the people I encounter.  The man who smiles as we pass and marches begrudgingly to his own private hell.  Alone the misery slowly removes him from life.  Piece by piece.  The smile must be so hard; to fight the need to cry out, instead mustering a make believe sign of happiness pretending all is well.

The eyes never lie.  The soul opens up and projects it’s reality through this looking glass.  To really know someone, look in the eyes…there the hurts shout out, there joy proclaims.  Never trust a smile.

I hope you have found peace, true peace…and now rest easy my friend, it’s ok to smile.

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4 Comments

  1. Michael Westmoreland-White said,

    October 26, 2009 at 3:35 am

    Good reflections. We all need to help each other and hold each other close–and open up our vulnerabilities to each other.

  2. peacetrain5 said,

    October 26, 2009 at 4:09 am

    I wonder what keeps our deperation in silence

    • quietstorms said,

      October 26, 2009 at 1:39 pm

      Delusion is the foe quieting desperation.

  3. Dave said,

    January 26, 2010 at 4:02 am

    Just found out that a guy I knew at FBC in WPB died April 14, 2009. He had battled schizophrenia for the last two or three years of his life… His mother called me with the news on receiving our Christmas letter. Even with the “S” word left unspoken, there were previous incidents that lead me to assume with great confidence that he took his own life.

    Enjoy the peace and joy of Christ in heaven, my brother and my friend.


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