Forgetting…

For the first time in my life I’m acknowledging some real fear.  Not the fear in worrisome activity seeking to avoid a painful encounter.  Not the kind of fear of not attaining some far-fetched goal in the future, no not that kind.  What I’m fearful of is forgetting.

Perhaps I can point to a busy schedule filled with many responsibilities and activities for my forgetfulness.  Sometimes in response to overloading my thinker, my brain will just decide to take a breather and chill, often to the frustration of my zip-zooming lifestyle to which I’ve become so accustomed.

Sadly, I see this as more of an onset rather than a temporary adjustment.  Each day I’m finding it harder to remember details which should be so familiar.  More and more I catch myself standing alone not remembering what I was just doing or what I was intending to accomplish.  My ever free thinking mind has slowly ebbed into a more concrete perspective seemingly losing much color and hue in verbal communication.

My lips seem to often be talking for somebody else and not sharing what my mind is really trying to say.  Almost like somebody is poorly translating my speech into another language at the most rudimentary level.  My brain seems to be shouting out enthusiastically inside my head while a monotonous drone leaks from my lips.

I think I could handle the loss of many functions if I had to.  Sight, sound, speech, even movement.   But the loss of my mind terrifies me beyond any created horror imaginable.

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1 Comment

  1. Mengqi ma said,

    December 15, 2013 at 10:47 am

    U subscribed very detail and easy to understand.its very useful to me, thanks a lot.


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