By her killing tiny Bailey her doom was sealed,

I’m certain no malice was felt towards her.

A terrible ending to a negative encounter,

together they’ve resided for many years.

All avenues led to one choice, most humane but also most final.

Morning arrangement made,

watching the hands move slowly round the clock.

This last day made special with snacks and brushing,

extra loving keeping anxiety at bay.

Beside me she sat knowing today would be unlike any other,

whimpering cries leaking hidden fear.

As the hour approached the leash was grabbed,

walking sadly into the darkened room.

She sat there alone, bolt upright, ready for what awaited her.

One last car ride, staring out the window deep in thought,

unwilling to exit, she backed away to the far side of the car.

Starring at me in the bright room she’d known for healing,

sadness gave way to acceptance.

The pink fluid slowly released into her body, her eyes narrowed.

I tell her of my love and wish her peaceful rest,

petting her furry head those once vibrant eyes began to close.

I stare helplessly as the shades are drawn,

and light is no more.

My hope is her last memory is of someone she loved.

Goodbye Beautiful Raven.




After seemingly years of struggle we’ve now come full circle and found ourselves content and unashamedly back in the Catholic Church.  This journey has encountered many valleys to cross and hills that need climbing but home again we now are.  For most people this would be less of an issue.  Years of conditioning in the evangelical church found us lacking and uninspired.  Our family has all but found church lately uneventful and dare I say unnecessary.  I find it hard to acknowledge these words coming from me as this doubt was never covered in seminary, but oftentimes the hardest person we have to be honest with is ourselves.

My daughter has been the driver in this homecoming for our family.  A dear child with a passionate seeking heart coming up with many questions and securing fewer answers.  Each Sunday she would ask us about going to church only to be met with a chorus a groans followed but rationals why we need to pass this week.  Top her credit, she kept asking even when the answer was quite clearly not what she desired.

One week we were approached with a unusual request, “can we go to Grandma’s church?”  My wife and I looked at each other with startled eyes.  Unknowingly we both shrugged our shoulders and said  “sure.”  As each of us was raised in the Catholic Church and have been away for an extended period, our quick commitment gave us concern as memories of a brutally harsh church experience of youth surfaced.

Fast forward, it’s been a couple of months and so far the roof of the church hasn’t caved in and we still desire to go each week.  Without getting too caught up into tomorrow, today we still enjoy attending.  Here are a few points I’ve observed of our transition.

  1. Saturday night mass fits our life plan just perfectly
  2. Digging the ritual and ceremony of the service
  3. Priest – humble, genuine, honest, and thought provoking
  4. Watching my family worship together is special
  5. Comfortable taking what I need and leaving the rest for others to enjoy
  6. Fascinated by the mystery/unknownness of God expressed
  7. Love that I don’t have to worry about being a leader in church
  8. The congregants drink wine and beer at gatherings without any concern
  9. Friday fish fry – enough said
  10. Quiet reverence inside the building.

Let’s see how next week goes!