Church Porn…

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If your church is promoting the new “Left Behind” movie because of its “christian” importance, please know you’d be better off showing “The Omen” in the church basement if you want actual scriptural integrity. It’s really hard to imagine rejoicing over the prospect of many people suffering because they don’t act and believe exactly like you do.  But we all dream differently don’t we?  Some dream of peace while others dream of revenge.   Open your eyes and see church porn for what it is.  Fire your pastor and step outside and embrace life and all those who make up our wonderfully diverse world with love and acceptance.

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Actually…

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If you hear “I’ll just take what the bible says as true” without acknowledging what that really means is “I’ll take what I think the bible says” as more important than what “you think the bible says.”  Your pastor has a messiah complex and needs to be fired.

Drink of death…

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If you feel you can divine another’s eternal destiny based upon their consumption of alcohol, while you drink copious amounts of coffee and cola each and every day, you might have a major judgment issue and a little problem with caffeine.  You should fire your pastor and soon learn the finer points of a good Chardonnay.  Your life will be changed for the better.

Cheers…

 

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If the community is trying to repeal Sunday alcohol sales and your church is spending its time and resources to keep an antiquated and disjointed law in place, immediately fire your pastor and celebrate your freedom with a drink.