Signage…

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So after repeatedly seeing this gentleman and many others of the same ilk protesting homosexuals on our town square, I’ve come to a decision on how I’ll personally handle them going forward. Mind you, they trouble me greatly. Each time they surface, instead of counter protesting with clever witty signs or debating their extremely limited understanding of scripture in general, I’m planning a different tact. I intend to give each protester a slip of paper with the following information. “Congratulations, today in your honor a donation has been made to a LGBT charity. Thank you for your efforts making the world a more accepting and kind place to live. God Bless.” Imagine if this caught on with the masses and these sign spouters soon realized their efforts were being severely countered by helping those they dislike. Seems like a more tranquil method of dealing with something so disgusting, ugly, and cruel. Let’s start a trend!

Football loving God…

After the Seahawks win Sunday the quarterback was interviewed after the game as is the trend.   He exuberantly shouted over and over how God gave his team the win.

Now there is bad theology and then there is really bad theology, I’m certain this statement falls in the later.

Truthfully, I suspect God could care less about who won a game of football.  At least I hope that’s the case.

Straw Man…

Could todays evangelical church thrive without the need for a bad guy or group who’s out to get us?  Seriously, can the literalists survive on just the love message alone?  I doubt it.

A Thought…

Why would God care more about what we believe about God, than how we live for God? Why would God care more about the beliefs we hold in our minds about God, Jesus, the Trinity, salvation, etc., than the way we actually love, care, and treat one another in our daily lives?

 

Please come.

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If your pastor teaches the need to invite God into the presence of the service, remind him that he previously taught that God was omnipresent and the only reason God wouldn’t currently be present is because God purposely needed to get the heck out of your church before s/he blew a fuse.  Fire your pastor and enjoy God’s true presence.

Girl Scout Cookies

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If your pastor says with a straight face from the pulpit to not buy Girl Scout Cookies from the cute little munchkins in green because it will support abortion and lesbianism, ask yourself a question…Do I really allow myself to take life advise from such an flaming dolt?  Get up immediately from your seat and fire your pastor.

Church Porn…

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If your church is promoting the new “Left Behind” movie because of its “christian” importance, please know you’d be better off showing “The Omen” in the church basement if you want actual scriptural integrity. It’s really hard to imagine rejoicing over the prospect of many people suffering because they don’t act and believe exactly like you do.  But we all dream differently don’t we?  Some dream of peace while others dream of revenge.   Open your eyes and see church porn for what it is.  Fire your pastor and step outside and embrace life and all those who make up our wonderfully diverse world with love and acceptance.

Divided Unity

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If your pastor continues to rant about the lack of unity among fellow believers and without taking a breath, uses divisive terms to denote others who practice a different faith, hopefully you can see the problem right before you…fire your pastor.

Obedience

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If your pastor is demanding the congregation focus on obedience and leadership, hold on to your hat, you’re about to have any bit of common sense stolen from you, get a pair and fire you pastor.

Harry Potter…

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If your spiritual leader suggests children shouldn’t read Harry Potter for fear they may turn into witches, it’s time to fire your pastor.

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