Signage…

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So after repeatedly seeing this gentleman and many others of the same ilk protesting homosexuals on our town square, I’ve come to a decision on how I’ll personally handle them going forward. Mind you, they trouble me greatly. Each time they surface, instead of counter protesting with clever witty signs or debating their extremely limited understanding of scripture in general, I’m planning a different tact. I intend to give each protester a slip of paper with the following information. “Congratulations, today in your honor a donation has been made to a LGBT charity. Thank you for your efforts making the world a more accepting and kind place to live. God Bless.” Imagine if this caught on with the masses and these sign spouters soon realized their efforts were being severely countered by helping those they dislike. Seems like a more tranquil method of dealing with something so disgusting, ugly, and cruel. Let’s start a trend!

Oppression…

Forgive me if I don’t jump on the bandwagon supporting government’s effort to establish greater religious freedom for the poor oppressed faithful.  Even the simplest of minds will easily read through the verbiage and see this for what it is.  Pandering to the religious right to gain future political  support.

I feel for the poor oppressed extremist christians for their lack of freedom to shove their crap forcefully down the throat of every American.  I’m sorry everybody fails to jump in lockstep with their desires.

What this freedom of religion means is freedom to demand MY region gets preferential treatment while all others are shoved out of the public eye.

Freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.

Sniper…

I’m beyond fascinated by the unwavering allegiance fundamentalist christians have with the military and war.  Almost sacramental.

The new movie “Sniper” has continued this epic divide.

It seems mind-blowing how someone who was a professional killer is thought of as such a hero and role model for the church.  Whatever became of the message of peace found so clearly written in the good book?  Why are the true heros who stood against oppression and injustice never idolized or even valued?   Why does it seem that if you question the empire building efforts of our government you are instantly branded a pagan by the church.  How did the church so lose focus of its real mission.  Goodness gracious!

And the church wonders why people are leaving in waves of discontent from their steeples of disconnect.

Church Porn…

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If your church is promoting the new “Left Behind” movie because of its “christian” importance, please know you’d be better off showing “The Omen” in the church basement if you want actual scriptural integrity. It’s really hard to imagine rejoicing over the prospect of many people suffering because they don’t act and believe exactly like you do.  But we all dream differently don’t we?  Some dream of peace while others dream of revenge.   Open your eyes and see church porn for what it is.  Fire your pastor and step outside and embrace life and all those who make up our wonderfully diverse world with love and acceptance.

Obedience

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If your pastor is demanding the congregation focus on obedience and leadership, hold on to your hat, you’re about to have any bit of common sense stolen from you, get a pair and fire you pastor.

Actually…

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If you hear “I’ll just take what the bible says as true” without acknowledging what that really means is “I’ll take what I think the bible says” as more important than what “you think the bible says.”  Your pastor has a messiah complex and needs to be fired.

Latte Salute

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If your pastor spends time talking about how the President’s “latte salute” isn’t befitting a leader, remind him he has a few others things going on presently and to give him a bit of a break from the non-stop criticism he garners.  Also remind your pastor that terms like jerk, idiot, and fool are not honoring of our commander in chief and as a pastor he should learn to voice his displeasure in a more gentle,caring, and respectful manner and offer some of that grace he so often mentions.  It’s obvious your pastor is too far gone down the partisan rabbit hole to meet the needs of a congregation, fire him and find a healthy alternative.

Just the way it is…

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When your pastor tells you something in an unkind way, but justifies it by saying “that’s just the way it is”or “I’m just being honest”, remind him that the vast majority of people who make such a claim come across as assholes.  Fire your pastor and get a new community to invest yourself into.

Abortion…

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If you find yourself in a perpetual state of uproar over the issue of abortion, yet drive a BMW from your mini-mansion to an upscale church in the suburbs where you put your children in an exclusive private school, that anger you feel is the reality of avoiding what Jesus actually talked about; helping the poor, dangers of wealth, being stuffed deep down in your soul so you can focus on self serving interests like abortion.  The issue of abortion is but a great guilt relieving balm for the modern evangelical, it soothes a troubled soul searching for truth by creating an issue never addressed as important by the master, instead allows one to live a a sad lie by avoiding the responsible fiscal sacrifice taught clearly by Jesus of serving those with much less and focus on a paraded straw man.

Fire your pastor and read the bible for yourself and for goodness sake, don’t take what it said from the pulpit as the only truth.

Motivation…

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If your motivation for doing good things for others is solely based on your fear of Hell and eternal damnation if you don’t, understand you’re a self-serving tool without a shred of decency; you need to quickly fire your misleading message giving pastor and relearn how to live as a real human being.

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