Abortion…

Camel needle

If you find yourself in a perpetual state of uproar over the issue of abortion, yet drive a BMW from your mini-mansion to an upscale church in the suburbs where you put your children in an exclusive private school, that anger you feel is the reality of avoiding what Jesus actually talked about; helping the poor, dangers of wealth, being stuffed deep down in your soul so you can focus on self serving interests like abortion.  The issue of abortion is but a great guilt relieving balm for the modern evangelical, it soothes a troubled soul searching for truth by creating an issue never addressed as important by the master, instead allows one to live a a sad lie by avoiding the responsible fiscal sacrifice taught clearly by Jesus of serving those with much less and focus on a paraded straw man.

Fire your pastor and read the bible for yourself and for goodness sake, don’t take what it said from the pulpit as the only truth.

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Answerman….

mr-know-it-all

If you’re taught that every answer to every situation for every person regardless of their individual circumstances is clearly found in the bible, you’ve been fed a pack of lies…quickly fire your pastor and begin making amends to those you’ve harmed in the quest to enhance your ego offering unsolicited advice.

Clarification

 

st-112

The phrase “fire your pastor” doesn’t have to mean work aggressively to have him lose his job, more to the point it means, you leaving his teaching and getting healthy.

News…

zombies

 

If your Sunday School is used to rehash disinformation from FoxNews and all the evils outside the walls of the church, you need to break free and fire your pastor.

Garb…

Huda-Falah-404_677965c

 

If you encounter someone wearing traditional garb reflective of their homeland or religious faith and you feel the urgent need to tell them about Jesus without taking a moment to get to know them as another of God’s lovingly created beings, you need to promptly fire your pastor.

Off Target…

off-target

 

If your church desires to fight for the preservation of traditional “Christian” values in marriage yet not a peep is mentioned about about protesting unjust and illegal wars, our current inequitable criminal justice system, or even lack of access to healthcare for the poor, then your pastor has a sadly distorted understanding of christianity and should be fired immediately.

Cheers…

 

alcohol1

 

If the community is trying to repeal Sunday alcohol sales and your church is spending its time and resources to keep an antiquated and disjointed law in place, immediately fire your pastor and celebrate your freedom with a drink.

Mission Trip

FFTPChildren2012

If your church one week celebrates it’s ministry service to poor Central American children then the next week, castigates these same children as worthless leaches as they try to come to the US for a better standard of life, it’s time to fire your pastor.

Unpleasant…

4314416030_9b1dbffb6b

 

If you don’t understand that being a douche bag for Jesus still makes you a douche bag, it’s time to fire your pastor.

Give em Hell…

51742

 

If your church encourages Jr. High students to evangelize their friends while they realistically have little to no understanding of the true faith message themselves, it’s time to fire your pastor.

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